your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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