I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize