i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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