omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize