I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
