it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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