his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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