i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I will pee on everything he values.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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