Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He felt like a one man threesome
He passed out mid-signature
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
