how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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