you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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