Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
