He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
