I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
