Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Rumble strips road head = magical
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
