I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
