school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
