carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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