So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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