she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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