The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
