Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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