Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
