I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
