Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
