He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
