.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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