suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
