How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
