oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
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