the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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