Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
