Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
