You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
