okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
