Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
