Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
