last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
