i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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