I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
