I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
