wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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