I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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