there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
