We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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