In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
