I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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