with your own penis?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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