There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
