listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
