he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
