I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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