All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
