cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
