my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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