Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
