I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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