i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize