I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
