Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize