I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Never joke about your clitoris.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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