I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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