life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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