Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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