i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
