actually, I'm a sock model
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
