im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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