you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
