I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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