So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
